Recently, my tits grew. I’m not sure when exactly because, due to my deep deep hatred of bra shopping, I put up with spilling out of ill-fitting bras for months. When the last hooks on my bras threatened to snap off suddenly and violently, I decided to brave the hideousness of the department store lingerie section.
I’m quite pear shaped, so it was only with this recent booby growth that I made it into plus size bra territory (I’m now a AUS 16D, which I think equates to a US 38D). With my new back-to-cup ratio I have apparently made the transition into completely sexless bras.
I don’t know about you, but it’s a wee bit hard to think “I break hearts for a living” when encased in this much beige microfibre.
Even the prettier, less practical bras – like this absurdly expensive one by Fayreform – subject my tits to an unnecessary amount of control.
My hatred for bra shopping has now increased tenfold.
What’s the deal? Who decided that bangers, once past a certain size, must have enforced sexlessness thrust upon them?! MY BOOBS ARE TOO FABULOUS FOR THIS SHIT.
I need your help, Fatosphere. I know there are many of you that have been dealing with this crap for many years and have worked out which brands flatter the girls and which try to hide them from the world completely. Where should I go? What should I buy?