Without realising it, I seem to have acquired a winter uniform. Every chance I get, I throw on a black or grey jersey bodycon dress, some brightly coloured tights, a scattering of plastic accessories and my patent leather jazz shoes. I have bought five dark bodycon dresses this winter. I’ve added six new pairs of colourful tights. Thank heavens we’ve headed into a new season.
All that said, my newest bodycon dress is a doozy. In showing it off, I decided to take the piss out of the three most overused fashion blogger photo poses.
Pose 1: The Troubled Fawn
Instructions: Slump your shoulders, point your toes in and make a face like you’re on the verge of tears.
Pose 2: The Awkward Lean
Instructions: Lean back/sideways. Further. Even further than that. Now place your hand casually on your hip and look at the camera like this is a totally natural shape for your body to be in. Ignore the stabbing pain in your back. Note: I lose points for having my feet apart for balance. The less structurally stable you look the better.
True story: I almost threw my back out making fun of this pose.
Pose 3: Coquettish Peek
Instructions: Stand with your back to the camera, slump your shoulders and peek coquettishly over your shoulder. Bonus points for pigeon toes.
How spectacular is the back of this dress?! It’s from the latest collection of Sportsgirl’s collaborations with Australian designers; this time they’ve partnered with the brand Aje. Keeping with Aje’s feminine take on grunge – or their grungey take on femininity, depending on how you look at it - the ruffles almost look like ragged little wings. It looks equally impressive worn back-to-front, so really it’s like I’ve got two dresses for the price of one (marvel at my skills in justification).
Dress: Aje for Sportsgirl
Tights: We Love Colors
Custom necklace: Cupcakes and Mace
Bangle: Dinosaur Designs
Jazz shoes: Bloch
Nail polish: Miss Connie I by Bloom
A++++++++
You’ve seen Hipsters Need To Pee, right?
And I lurve that dress! x
Hahaha, yes! Ahhh, amateur fashion photography – it’s comedy gold.
Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I already do, you go and prove me wrong!!! <3 <3 Not only do I LOVE that dress, but the poses absolutely made my day
One day I hope that my "hold your skirt out like a child on the first day of school" pose will somehow become as wildly famous xoxoxoxoxoxo
But I like your ‘hold your skirt out…’ pose. That’s the difference – all three poses I used I am so utterly sick of.
Haha I love the names you have come up with for the poses! Beautiful dress too
Strike a pose!
Hey, at least the third one has purpose – the “wings” are fabulously goth!
AHHAHAHAHA YES!
The one with the arm on hip is the “skinny arm”. IT’S SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS! (Saw a lot of it the other night and tbqh, I nearly peed myself laughing.)
LOL You said “overused fashion blogger photo poses” but it seems like every other photo spread Crystal Renn doing that pose.
I have those tights. Love them. They are so soft.
Oh, I hear you. Loads of models do the troubled fawn and the awkward lean – I think that explains their popularity in the fashion blogosphere.
Love the dress, it looks in the pics like you could even wear it backwards as like a v-neck, but maybe the v goes too deep…
My most overused pose seems to be the “I’m a little teapot”
but hey, I AM short and stout, so I guess it works – hah!
I have worn it backwards! Worn backwards, it has quite a deep scoop neck but it’s nothing too scandalous.
I LOVE that dress! Ruffles!!
I don’t understand those poses, the first one I see so often & it just looks so un-natural!
You look amazing – yeah, yeah. Posing = hilarious!
I love the dress! I want to see you wearing it backwards too! xx
Hehe, great original way of doing an outfit post! The back of that dress *is* spectacular, and I do love it when the fatty necklace makes an appearance!
You are a goddamn legend woman! You are rocking that first pose – I’m dying – stop it now! As for your winter “uniform” – my god you look amazing – I love the tights. And thanks so much for the lovely comment – I agree with you – why would anyone think anything is wrong with one of those gorgeous black dresses and orange tights? And yes, Aussies do dress casual, yet it is done with extreme conservatism. I find it quite demoralising. But only for about five minutes – then I don a cape (yes, a cape) and leggings and save the world
. Great to hear from you sweetie! xoxo
OH MY GOD I WANT A CAPE SO BADLY. My friend Liam has one and I want to mug him for it.
The troubled fawn pose annoys me, it doesn’t look natural like you said, but on some people it makes them look hunch backed or no-necked.
For gawd sake people of your going to pose at least stand up straight.
Other then that, nice uniform
YES, the troubled fawn drives me crazy! It just looks so awkward and submissive. I almost start yelling at the computer “SHOULDERS BACK. HEAD HIGH. FOR GODS SAKE, STOP POINTING YOUR TOES INWARDS.”
I lol’d hard at this. The only one missing was the “need to pee”.
You really rock those body con dresses hon. They look amazing on you, and you know my love of colourful tights.
I need to find a pair of shoes kinda like that.
I know, I can’t believe I forgot the ‘need to pee’! It’s a classic! I’ve already told my photographer (read: the Boyfriend) that we have to do another ridiculous shoot with another outfit to cover all the poses I missed.
I wear my jazz shoes almost daily. I need to find another pair before these inevitably fall apart.
I LOVE THIS! Where can I buy that fatty necklace? Well, when I find a job that is. LOVES IT!
*muah* Besitos!
I got it custom made from my friend Kim’s etsy shop, Cupcakes and Mace. Look for the listing titled ‘Custom Acrylic Nameplate’.
Frances, I really like the back of your bodycon dress. And you paired it with colorful tight, so brave!
I THINK I LOVE YOU