OoTD No. 31 – This is more like it

In my last OoTD post, I wrote that I had not yet found an outfit that was worthy of my sickening Buffalo x Solestruck platforms. A couple of you left lovely comments saying that my first attempt at styling them had already hit the mark, which was terribly sweet of you.

Sweet but wrong.

Because now I look bloody amazing:

The dress is by Lazy Oaf, a London-based brand that I LOVE. I so wish they would expand their size range so all fatties can have this much fun with their clothing. (Domino Dollhouse’s latest collection is the closest a plus size range has come to speaking to me the way Lazy Oaf does.) This dress is marked as a size UK12-14, but it’s incredibly stretchy so I was able to fit my UK18 size body into it without much trouble. That said, my width and height does mean that the dress rides up like a mofo on me, requiring a black mini underneath to prevent flashing the odd flap.

I can now tick ‘Oversized chambray shirt’ off my ’90s extravanganza’ shopping list. Next target: a mini leather backpack. I’m already trawling etsy…

Dress: Lazy Oaf – size L. Currently available. (It’s also available on Asos.)
Denim boyfriend shirt: Asos – size UK18. Currently available.
Black skirt (worn underneath): Supre – size XL. Old collection.
Shoes: Buffalo x Solestruck – size 10. Currently available.

I am 1.72m/5’8″, somewhere between 90 and 95kg/200 and 210lbs and I normally wear an Australian size 16/UK size 18/US size 14-16. My measurements are 107-96-114cm/42-38-45 inches.

OoTD No. 30 – My mad fat obsession

Have you experienced the glory that is My Mad Fat Diary yet? (If you haven’t, a wonderful person has uploaded all of season 1 on youtube. It’s only six episodes, so you can/should/will knock it over in a day.) MMFD is a British TV series set in Lincolnshire in 1996 that follows a fat, 16 year old girl named Rae as she tries to navigate friends, family, boys, and life outside the hospital after four months of psychiatric care. It’s hilarious, heartbreaking, sometimes triggering and is the best best best best best best best.

Sharon Rooney - who plays Rae - is spectacular and has the most wonderfully expressive face I’ve ever seen. The writers have captured the mindset of a 16 year old girl perfectly (which is perhaps unsurprising, given the show is based on real life Rae Earl’s real life diary); I see a lot of my teenage self in Rae, and going by the #mmfd tag on tumblr, so do many young women. On top of all that, one of the things I love most about the show and its popularity is the fact that a poor, fat, female protagonist is openly and vocally loved by the viewers.

Though Rae has severe body image problems, she is strong and resilient with an awesome sense of humour. She is comfortable with her teenage sex drive and she is attractive to boys. Not only that, she is attractive to objectively good-looking boys.  Not only that, but fans are ACTIVELY AND FEROCIOUSLY SHIPPING a fat character and her totally lush love interest. It’s bloody brilliant and I never thought I’d see the day. Well done, Shaz

ANYWAY, back to me. In the last month, my relationship with MMFD has gone from seen-a-few-gifs awareness to a full blown, all-consuming obsession. Like, to the point of reading fanfiction on tumblr. To the point of downloading the season 1 playlists and (re)acquainting myself with the awesomeness of Oasis, the Stone Roses, and early to mid-90s dance music. To the point of finally getting on the 90s revival bandwagon and hunting down the perfect chambray shirt (on its way from Asos to me as I type), the perfect leather backpack (search is ongoing), and the perfect platform sneakers:

I AM LOVING MYSELF SICK RIGHT NOW.

I’ve been desperate for a pair of Buffalo platforms since the Spice Girls were at their peak (both in popularity and height, ba doom tish). All glory to Solestruck for letting me live out my pop starlet/club kid/giantess fantasies. And I am a deadset giantess in them. Normally I am around 5’8″ but in these babies I am at least 6′ tall. Not so long ago, I used to get self-conscious about my height and whenever I had to wear heels I would walk with a bit of a hunch to appear less domineering. Not anymore. I feel positively Amazonian. I feel like I could stomp on people. I am loving it.

The shoes arrived last week so of course I wanted to wear them out the first chance I got. Unfortunately, my first chance was dinner at a fancy restaurant so the accompanying outfit is not as loud and inappropriate as I would like (though I suppose it does draw attention to the shoes)…

There’s room for improvement here, but this is a decent start.

Dress: Aje for Sportsgirl – size XL. Old collection.
Necklace: Sass & Bide. Old collection.
Shoes: Buffalo x Solestruck – size 10. Currently available.

I am 1.72m/5’8″, somewhere between 90 and 95kg/200 and 210lbs and I normally wear an Australian size 16/UK size 18/US size 14-16. My measurements are 107-96-114cm/42-38-45 inches.

Cherchez la Femme

You may have caught at the bottom of my last post that I’m appearing in something called Cherchez la Femme next week. I figured it was worth a long post because I am dead excited about this and everyone in Sydney reading this should totally come.

In a nutshell, CLF is a monthly digest of popular culture and current affairs from a feminist perspective that’s run by organiser extraordinaire, Karen Pickering (who also co-organised Slutwalk Melbourne, the first SlutWalk protest in Australia). Usually, CLF is held at the Gasometer Hotel in Collingwood, Victoria with each CLF focusing on something different; previous topics have included Feminism and Teaching, Feminism and Public Space, Feminism and Language, and in 2011 there was Feminism and Fat.

This time around it’ll be a bit different. This is the first time CLF has come to Sydney so the panel will be a mixed bag and the conversation will be more broad. Panellists at CLF Sydney are:

• Nareen Young: CEO of the Diversity Council of Australia
• Emily Maguire: Author of Princesses & Pornstars, Your Skirt’s Too Short & Fishing for Tigers
• Van Badham: Author, playwright and activist. Currently Artistic Associate at Malthouse Theatre, Melbourne.
• Catriona Wimberley: Postgraduate Fellow (and mega babe) at University of Sydney and the Australian Nuclear Science and Technology Organisation
• and moi.

So with a cracking line-up like that, conversation can’t be anything but varied and super interesting.

Which is exactly why I love Karen for organising this event. So many public discussions about feminism (see Q&A‘s recent all-women panel) get bogged down in bullshit questions like “Is feminism still relevant?” and “Can women have it all?” which are so predictable and so boring it makes me want to vomit. By framing CLF as an explicitly feminist event, we can skip all that guff and get right into the meaty discussions. And it will be a discussion. As a panellist, I can tell you that we are not experts who will be telling you the way of things. Sure, we know shit but so do you, so it’ll be a conversation.

I’ll be wearing two hats while I’m up on stage. My activist hat – so I’ll be keen to chat about body image and fat acceptance – and my day job hat – so I’ll be chiming in on government and policy issues too. But I genuinely don’t know where the conversation will go and that is very exciting to me. (Personally, I can’t wait to hear about Catriona’s research.)

AND there will be half-time entertainment in the form of comedic cabaret babes Lady Sings It Better and jack-of-all-trades Andrew P Street will be playing his guitar.

So come along! Drink a beer! Say hello! It’s at 5pm, Sunday 21 April at the Vanguard, 42 King St Newtown. Get your tickets here (tickets will be available on the door if the show doesn’t sell out ahead of time).

OoTD No. 29 – Fashion is catching up to me

On weekends I basically live in some combination of the following: graphic print tshirt, denim shorts or jeans (preferably in a colour other than blue), high top sneakers, and if the weather requires, a sometimes-printed and always-colourful polar fleece jumper. (Now, I know I don’t post my outfits on here very often – I’ve been living here for the past four years am only up to my 29th OoTD – so you’ll just have to take my word for this. My IRL friends can vouch for me if needed.)

I’m happy with my weekend get-up. I was aware that it wasn’t very girly nor very stylish but it was very me, so I dug it.

Apparently I wasn’t giving myself enough credit because it turns out that I am a massive trendsetter: my style of dressing is now in fashion. Beyonce’s gone street, the Spring Breakers costume designer must’ve raided my wardrobe while I was asleep, and everywhere you look women are wearing high tops (even if most of them are wearing those hideous sneakers with the wedge in them… seriously, just buy some regular Dunks and give your calves a break).

So, given my new status as a fashion doyenne, I can only assume that 6 months from now I’ll be designing numerous capsule collections for various high end and high street brands, sitting front row at fashion weeks around the globe, and diving into pools of cash like Scrooge McDuck. Can’t wait.

Hoodie: Matthew Williamson for H&M via eBay – size XL (men’s)
Tshirt: Lazy Oaf – size M/L. Old collection.
Shorts: Witchery – size 16. Old collection.
Sneakers: Nike Air Flight 89 from Hype DC – size 8 (men’s). Old collection.

PS. SYDNEYSIDERS: I’ll be a guest panellist at Cherchez la Femme on Sunday 21 April 2013. In the words of the organiser, “It’s like feminist Q&A… with drinks. CLF features thoughtful, uncensored, and irreverent takes on pop culture and current affairs from an unapologetically feminist angle.” It’s at the Vanguard in Newtown and may be your last chance to see me before I’m famous Get your tickets here.

I am 1.72m/5’8″, somewhere between 90 and 95kg/200 and 210lbs and I normally wear an Australian size 16/UK size 18/US size 14-16. My measurements are 107-96-114cm/42-38-45 inches.

2012: The End of the World

Here we are at the end of another year. Like sands through the hourglass and so on and so forth. Sydney, the beautiful bitch that she is, has turned on a cracker of a day to farewell 2012: sunny, clear skies, cool breeze. The Boyfriend and I found time for a quick swim at Clovelly (my favourite beach) this morning and are currently prepping for a BBQ at ours tonight.

So this post isn’t a massive text dump, here’s the outfit that features my go-to dress of the summer party season:

Dress: Camilla – one size. Similar styles available.
Bag: Secondhand from Broadway Betty
Bangle: Dinosaur Designs. Similar styles available.
Sandals: Witchery – size 40. Old collection.
Lipstick: MAC Girl About Town

I’ve been waiting to show this dress off for months. I bought it specifically for my aunt’s wedding in Bali; as the sweatiest person alive, I needed something floaty and elegant that was made from natural fibres. Even at almost 50% off, this dress exceeded my budget but as it’s utterly perfect I bought it anyway. I had been coveting a Camilla dress or kaftan since I first saw her designs as a teenager. The vast majority of Camilla’s clothing is one size fits most, and given her kaftans and dresses are so shapeless, they really will fit most of us. The fact that I own a dress by a designer I’ve loved for over a decade, that will always fit AND that I never need to iron? To awesome for words.

But back to the day at hand.

For better or worse, 2012 was massive year for a lot of us. In my close circle of loved ones to my wide circle of internet friends, there have been life-changing events: serious health issues, break ups, moves overseas… Me and mine haven’t been spared. In a twitter conversation with Phebe of Lightning Heart about exactly this, she wondered if this is what the Maya had predicted; not the apocalypse, but great upheaval in our lives. I think she may be onto something. 2012 did not bring about the end of the world, but it was the end of the world as we knew it.

I hope that 2013 is less eventful.

Frances Lockie, published writer

Check me out!

An exciting thing happened this week: Girlfriend, an Australian monthly magazine for teen girls aged 14 to 17 years of age, published a story on fat stigma. Even more exciting: I’m the one who wrote it!

Girlfriend has really cool, feminist editors; some of the stories they’ve featured in recent months include street harassment, transgenderism, and a critique of the idea of ‘real women’ (interspersed with posters of One Direction, naturally. SO GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT OF MY HEEEAAAAD AND FALL INTO MY ARMS INSTEEEAAAD…) They hold the young women of Australia in such high regard and I’m stoked to be published in their pages.

Click here to read the story.

Half-naked and overdressed all at once

You may recall that in my last post I was slightly shitting myself as I was about to perform samba in my passista costume for the very first time. Well, I did it and here are the photos to prove it.

Gratuitous butt shot

I was very nervous when I stepped out of the change room for the first time but, like with all things that push me out of my comfort zone, I took a deep breath and faked it. I strutted about like I was meant to be wearing that outfit (because I was) and like I deserved to be on that stage (because I did). Then the wind nearly blew off my headdress so I was far too preoccupied with keeping it on my head while doing all the steps that I didn’t have time to be self-conscious.

Achievement unlocked: Appearing half-naked on stage in front of a crowd of people. What else ya got?

On Stocky Bodies, and on being a fat dancer

Almost a year ago, a handful of Aussie fat bloggers and I agreed to be part of a fat embodiment research project led by Dr Lauren Gurrieri of the Griffith Business School. The purpose was to document the everyday lived experience of fat people, and the end result of our discussions was Stocky Bodies.

Stocky Bodies is a stock image library that aims to provide positive and diverse representations of life as a fat person. It stands in opposition and as an alternative to the typical ‘headless fatty‘ photo that accompanies most stories on fatness and obesity. Photos were taken by Lauren and by Isaac Brown of the Queensland College of Art.

When organising the photo shoot, Lauren and Isaac explained that the images should show my life and what I do with this fat body of mine. For me, that meant eating out…

going to the beach…

and dancing.

Let me tell you, rocking up to dance class with a couple of photographers in tow was by far the most confronting part of this whole process.

Fat is pretty taboo in the dance world. The ideal dancer is seen to be long, lean, and muscular. In the dance community, there’s a lot of discussion of weight loss, the relative goodness and badness of different foods, and negative self-talk about certain body parts. The negativity surrounding fat in dance is so well-known that I think a lot of fat people are discouraged; even though I’m only a size 16, I am frequently the fattest person in my classes.

This feeling of exclusion is not helped by the fact that dance attire is not made for fat bodies. Workout gear is notoriously hard to find in plus sizes (though Cult of California is doing their best to change that). Costumes for performances are another obstacle. I am a samba and Afro-Brazilian dancer; when we perform samba no pé, we wear tiny bikinis and feather headdresses like this:

(John MacDougall/AFP/Getty Images)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these bikinis are very hard to find in plus sizes. I have had to pull out of a performance because I couldn’t find a bikini in time that fit. There are also very few fat samba no pé dancers, which makes the idea of jiggling (and, lord, do I jiggle) in a g-string bikini all the more intimidating.

So, with all this knowledge and baggage, I was pretty uneasy about bringing Lauren and Isaac to class. Not because I’d find them intrusive, or that they’d see me at my most red-faced and sweaty, but because I’d have to explain why they were there. I knew that I had to come out to my fellow students as fat. As proudly fat.

Being a fat dancer is challenging and definitely tests my comfort zones, though I am finding my way. I’m lucky enough to have found a dance group that is reasonably body positive. I found a company in the UK that makes samba bikinis for any size (though plus size bikinis have a 25% surcharge); I finally have one to call my own and it is a beauty. I will be wearing it onstage for the first time in a week and a half, and to be honest, I’m a bit nervous about it. But that apprehension is why I feel almost obligated to go through with it. If I want to see a diverse range of bodies in dance, I should be up there showing some diversity. I should, and will, be showing people what this fat body can do.

OoTD No. 28 – Winter dressing, summer style

Though I love summer in Sydney, I am growing more appreciative of the cooler months. The air is fresh, my kitchen smells of roasts and stews and apple crumble, and I can wear something more substantial than thin cotton tops and double pluggers.

And it is starting to get quite wintery in Sydney, but that’s no reason to stop blinding people with summer-style colour.

My dear apple bag has been quite neglected of late, but after seeing Jackie’s amazing collection of bags that look like other things on Show Tell Share, I was inspired to dust it off.

I’m lightly obsessed with these ridiculous shirts. They were made by Mambo in the ’90s (before they decided to reinvent themselves as just another beige surf brand) in a bunch of iconic designs. The ones by Reg Mombassa – like this one – are just so wonderfully Australian. I’ve tracked down quite a few on ebay, and despite the shirts being something a middle aged man would wear to a barbecue, I love them dearly. They’re a summer staple, but when my wardrobe was particularly empty and my laundry pile was particularly big, I decided to winterise them with a natty bow tie and v-neck jumper.

Jumper: Second hand from Twirl Vintage Co – size M
Shirt: Mambo Loud Shirt via ebay – size M.
Jeans: Jay Jays – size 16. Old collection.
Shoes: Asos Marky Traditional Brogues – UK size 8. Similar styles available.
Bow tie: Asos. Old collection.
Bag: Mink Schmink. Old collection.

I am 1.72m/5’8″, 95kg/209lbs and I normally wear an Australian size 16/UK size 18/US size 14-16. My measurements are 107-99-120cm/42-39-47 inches.

OoTD No. 27 – Pretend I’ve been here this whole time

I KNOW, SLOTH. I’M SORRY.

(In the age since I last blogged, WordPress has changed the ‘New Post’ page and it will be a miracle if I manage to post this successfully. We fear change.)

The weather is slowly starting to turn autumnal in Sydney which means I’m finally able to start wearing the A/W gear I bought on sale months ago. Like this fabbo Anna Scholz dress:

Like my Anna Scholz leggings, I’d had my eye on this wrap dress for some time but had hesitated on account of the price and the shipping costs. Luckily for me, Anna Scholz has some AMAZING sales and I managed to pick this beauty up for a steal back in December. I predict I’ll be wearing the hell out of it over the next few months.

Dress: Anna Scholz – size UK16. Old collection.
Leggings: Gisela Ramirez – size S. Currently available.
Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell Uniform Glitter from Solestruck. Old collection.
Bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs from David Jones. Old collection.
Watch: TW Steel. Similar styles available.

I am 1.72m/5’8″, 95kg/209lbs and I normally wear an Australian size 16/UK size 18/US size 14-16. My measurements are 107-99-120cm/42-39-47 inches.