Without realising it, I seem to have acquired a winter uniform. Every chance I get, I throw on a black or grey jersey bodycon dress, some brightly coloured tights, a scattering of plastic accessories and my patent leather jazz shoes. I have bought five dark bodycon dresses this winter. I’ve added six new pairs of colourful tights. Thank heavens we’ve headed into a new season.
All that said, my newest bodycon dress is a doozy. In showing it off, I decided to take the piss out of the three most overused fashion blogger photo poses.
Pose 1: The Troubled Fawn
Instructions: Slump your shoulders, point your toes in and make a face like you’re on the verge of tears.
Pose 2: The Awkward Lean
Instructions: Lean back/sideways. Further. Even further than that. Now place your hand casually on your hip and look at the camera like this is a totally natural shape for your body to be in. Ignore the stabbing pain in your back. Note: I lose points for having my feet apart for balance. The less structurally stable you look the better.
Pose 3: Coquettish Peek
Instructions: Stand with your back to the camera, slump your shoulders and peek coquettishly over your shoulder. Bonus points for pigeon toes.
How spectacular is the back of this dress?! It’s from the latest collection of Sportsgirl’s collaborations with Australian designers; this time they’ve partnered with the brand Aje. Keeping with Aje’s feminine take on grunge – or their grungey take on femininity, depending on how you look at it – the ruffles almost look like ragged little wings. It looks equally impressive worn back-to-front, so really it’s like I’ve got two dresses for the price of one (marvel at my skills in justification).